Before the Hays Thou Shall Not 1. Law Defeated. 2. Inside of Thigh 3. Lace Lingerie 4. Dead Man 5. Narcotics 6. Drinking 7. Exposed Bosom 8. Gambling 9. Pointing Gun 10. Tommy Gun

Before the Hays
Tiger Woods and the cross he bears


Ah! Forgiveness. What does that really mean anyway. We let it go? We move on? Closure? Ratings? I hate golf so he never lost me as a fan.

I must admit though, it does make good drama. What I would like is to get one of those CGI programs and super impose ex-boyfriends faces over Tiger Woods’ face. That way the ex of your choice can hold a press conference and apologize publicly for being a stupid moron to you. What would it be like if average people were able to apologize publicly in press conference format with their family and pets standing next to them? Instead of Reality TV we could have Apology TV. What if we all could appear on Oprah and have her forgive us?
So since we are approaching Lent and in the spirit of public humiliation I recommend for this evening Sign of the Cross (1932) (Sorry I couldn’t resist) Tiger, I hope you enjoy it.
After burning Rome, Emperor Nero decides to blame the Christians, and issues the edict that they are all to be caught and sent to the arena. Two old Christians are caught, and about to be hauled off, when Marcus, the highest military official in Rome, comes upon them. When he sees their stepdaughter Mercia, he instantly falls in love with her and frees them. Marcus pursues Mercia, which gets him into trouble with Emperor (for being easy on Christians) and with the Empress, who loves him and is jealous.

There is supposed to be some nice girl on girl in this too, so Tiger will enjoy that. Here’s Claudette in the bath of milk. She looks good. The kittens are a cute touch as well.
Here’s my favorite line, ” Take off your clothes, get in here and tell me all about it.”

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